Disclaimers: The characters and places here belong to KKS and others.
Shounen-ai. Angst and other such things… One more set during the war with Lucitania.
The rain was pelting down harshly on the battle camp. Grey clouds obscured the sky adding to the oppressive atmosphere, not to mention the rising wind. Now that the battle was over those who had no reason to be outside the shelter of their tents did not venture out at all. Even the main fire around which the tents of the Prince and his Commanders had died down to a flickering, smouldering pile of logs. The sentries that stood about huddled in their cloaks, peering out into the murky distance, watching the wind ripple tattered clothing and banners on the far off battlefield.
Narsus stood on one of the outcroppings of rock that looked out onto the deserted field. The rain was intensifying and he knew that he should retreat to the warmth of his tent but still made no move to do so. Droplets of water splattered his skin, drenching his clothing and leaving the strands of hair that had slipped free about his face, now clinging to his soaked skin. He didn’t move; standing there, arms folded staring out over the battlefield. Alternately cool resolution and despair could be seen flickering in his gaze but the direction of that gaze never wavered, though sometimes it appeared to loose its focus. The battlefield littered with corpses and the machines of war was the most obvious focal point but beyond that, lay the distant capital of Ekubatana.
Narsus didn’t react at the approaching footfalls, sloshing on the sodden earth. Daryoon came to a stop next to him and squinted out at the battlefield.
“Yes. I think we can safely assume they’re all dead.” He said, turning to regard Narsus. The strategist bit his lip to stop himself laughing.
“That’s not funny, Daryoon.” But he was starting to smile.
Their gazes held. Sometimes understanding didn’t require words.
“You’ll make yourself ill if you stand out here in the rain.”
“I was thinking…” Narsus turned to look out over the battlefield again.
“Can’t you do that inside?”
“Please…”
“Alright, what was it that was so important that you had to stand out here and get soaked thinking about it?”
“The futility of it all.”
“The futility of what?”
“Everything. It won’t last, you know. Everything comes to an end eventually.”
“That’s true.”
Narsus blinking in surprise, he’d been expecting Daryoon to argue with him.
“But just because one day it will all crumble to dust doesn’t meant that we should just sit by and watch.” Daryoon said calmly.
“Yes… but…”
An enquiring look was Daryoon’s response.
Narsus laughed softly, a little shakily, “The rain washes it all clean, all shame, all sins.” He held his hands out, palms upwards as the water continued to splash down.
Now it was Daryoon’s turn to fall silent.
He knew what he wanted to say… the same thing he always wanted to say: to tell Narsus that they were all as guilty as each other for the deaths that occurred in battle; the Lucitanians that attacked, the soldiers that defended their country, the Generals who led the men into battle… all of them. And that no one could turn and point an accusing finger at one strategist, not without accusing themselves too.
But he said nothing, for someone so very attentive to details Narsus never really seemed to hear that particular argument.
Narsus was staring blankly into some undefined point in the distance again, steadily being drenched. With a sigh at the fact that the strategist didn’t appear to be inclined to move any time soon, Daryoon removed his cloak and draped it over Narsus shoulders. That seemed to bring him back to reality.
“Oh… You’ll rust, you know.” Narsus said glancing at the still worn black armour.
“Not me, personally.” Daryoon remarked.
“Not you, personally.” Narsus conceded with a wiry smile.
They continued to stand in the downpour.
“If you want to go assigning guilt for every life lost today, you’d better expect to be a lot further down the list that me.” Daryoon said after a while.
Narsus looked at him, sideways.
“I mean, I go out there and kill the Gods know how many people every time we fight the Lucitanians.”
“I thought you soldiers kept score.”
“28” said Daryoon “though that’s not counting the 5 from the advanced party that tried to sneak up on us.”
“But…”
“It’s simply a matter of kill or be killed. There isn’t a choice about it once you’re out there.”
“At least you fight on equal terms… out there.” Narsus said the last bit quietly.
“They have their strategists too and their assassins.”
“And their fanatics?”
“Yes and the odd sorcerer or two, I expect.”
“There’s only one.”
“What?”
“Only one sorcerer. I can ‘see’ him sometimes…”
Daryoon frowned “Scrying.” He said it with a certain amount of disapproval.
Narsus snorted, “The cards don’t lie.”
“Are you sure that’s any better?”
“Well… let’s just say that if the Lucitanians ever capture me I’ll be burned at the stake in any case.”
“I won’t let them.”
“Hmm?”
“Burn you at the stake or even capture you in the first place.”
“Ah, my Black Knight, what would I do without you?” the strategist’s voice was teasing and Daryoon pulled him close.
“Come inside.” He murmured into Narsus’ ear “I have a better use for you right now.”
Later, in the darkness of his tent, Narsus lay awake in Daryoon’s arms. Daryoon was sleeping, his breathing deep and even: undisturbed. Narsus stared at his lover’s face for long moments, eyes roaming over every detail with an artist’s practiced gaze.
It was possible that the future might bring grief, that every battle might bring terrible sorrow… the loss of the man he loved. Narsus bit his lip, considering. Then he lithely slipped from Daryoon’s embrace, only bothering to grab a light blanket that had fallen, neglected, to protect him from the slight chill in the air. He crossed the room to where his few possessions were pilled. A quick rummage among maps, some few items of jewellery and two, cleverly concealed, poisoned daggers, located the item he was searching for. A hand-carved box, so small that it could only contain a single set of cards. Narsus quickly lifted the cards out of the box, hazarding a quick glance to check that Daryoon still slept. He shuffled the cards soundlessly, eyes loosing all focus as he did so before, as quickly as his early movements, dealing out three cards face up. Narsus smiled at the results and was gathering the cards up when Daryoon spoke, “Should I be worried?”
Narsus regarded the sleepy General and glanced back down at the final card that still lay exposed.
“No. Not at all.” Narsus replied, packing the cards away before he came back to lie down in Daryoon’s arms again.
There was no danger this time; at least that was what the cards had told him and he had been truthful earlier when he’d said that they never lied.
It had been Death, the last card. Death as a handsome General wearing black armour.
I had the idea for this on the bus this afternoon on the way to an exam so it’s probably a little weird.
Why am I writing stuff with random tarot readings in? I don’t know, I did the same thing with a Matrix fic the other day…
In this though, I’m using the card symbolically, after all, you can’t really conceive of killing Death, can you?
Incidentally, the Death card means ultimate change, rebirth and stuff like that. It’s also the card for Scorpio and in the gorgeous X/1999 set has Sei-chan on it.
19:09, 10/06/02