Disclaimers: The characters and places here belong to KKS and others; my depression is entirely my own.
Very angsty, shounen-ai…
Now that Arslan has retaken Pulsar can there really be a happily ever after?
From one of the many windows of the royal palace of Ekubatana the King’s strategist watched the newly arrived party in the courtyard. Not that this was particularly unusual, since the King’s Champion was among their number.
Daryoon glanced up at the high windows as he dismounted but if he saw the figure at the window he gave no indication. He left for the throne-room without a backwards glance.
From his vantage point Narsus simply watched him depart. There was no indication that anything might possibly be wrong, not in his actions or words, nor had there been for almost a year. It was only in the listless gaze that it was apparent. If anyone had dared to take notice, they might have seen the disintegration of Daryoon and Narsus’ relationship.
As peace wore on both, it began to wear away at the ties that had bound together two very different souls. Tied to his duty to the King, Daryoon had devoted even more of his time to the establishment of Arslan’s reign, almost to the point of neglecting his lover. Not that Narsus seemed to notice. Caught up in the constant, pointless court intrigues his paintings languished, unfinished canvases that Daryoon dismissed as atrocities. Soon enough, he gave them up. Devoting all his time and energy to the single purpose of ensuring Arslan’s reign. Spinning elaborate schemes that would keep the nobles in place, keep the kingdom running smoothly.
Daryoon had been content knowing that Arslan was unthreatened, that the kingdom was safe and that he had his love by his side. He was content until the nobles began their whispering, that Lord Narsus was beginning to look ill; pale and tired almost constantly. Initially he’d dismissed their chattering, until the servants had begun. The rising panic Daryoon had felt hadn’t helped the situation. He spoke secretly with both Arslan and Pharangase on the matter and was shocked to hear their answers. Both had believed that his relationship with Narsus was almost over.
As the months had progressed the warrior had tried to rebuild what they once had. But every kind word, every gesture was gently rebuffed; Narsus seemingly puzzled that Daryoon should even make the effort.
Finally, during one of the long nights while Daryoon found himself lying awake watching his exhausted love sleep, he decided upon, what he thought to be the best course of action. When dawn came he would leave. It would be simple enough to move into another room in this vast palace, it might cause some talk for a while but it would be for the best. He would leave… In the morning. Gently he moved to enfold his love in his arms, just one more time… just until dawn…
The first rays of light filtered through the windows, stirring the couple lying together in the bed… But Narsus knew he must still be dreaming, because Daryoon never held him like this… He hadn’t for a long time.
Turning away from the window, Narsus tried to shake of the memory. How long had it been now, almost a year? A year since Daryoon had left him, saying that it was for the best. But perhaps it was better for Daryoon. Narsus had seen the many prospective brides hovering around the King’s Champion… and Daryoon was so dedicated to his duty… Narsus smirked slightly… Duty. That was what had taken Daryoon from him. Duty to the kingdom, duty to the Crown, duty to the Prince who was now King. The smirk slipped. But he’d tried, had tried so hard to be what Daryoon wanted him to be… But it hadn’t worked.
Narsus began to move slowly down the corridor back to his chambers, the smile returning to his wane face… He planned to be completely drunk by sunset.
Just outside the grand hall, where the evening’s entertainments were taking place, Daryoon halted. He knew he should be there, at the King’s side already but he just couldn’t bring himself to step inside that loud, garish room. He could already imagine the flighty courtesans, the clingy prospective brides, the chattering nobles. He hated it all, hated everything that duty forced him to do. Daryoon longed to escape it all. He closed his eyes, leaning back against a pillar. In his daydreams he could smell the sweet smell of wild roses as he ran his fingers through chestnut locks, could hear the light, melodious laughter of the one he loved most. And always he could again peer down into emerald eyes, shining with love and laughter.
Daryoon’s eyes snapped open abruptly, shadowed by sadness. He knew his daydreams could never again become reality, not after…
It was almost like falling. You knew what was happening but couldn’t actually do anything about it. They had been falling away from each other, perhaps. He’d tried to do what was best, to let Narsus go, to give him a chance to escape this… But it hadn’t worked.
Daryoon steeled himself to face the clammy masses that clustered around Arslan’s throne, his stoic mask falling back into place… He willed himself not to think.
In the grand hall the nobles barely spared a glance at the King’s Champion. His blank look coupled with the absence of Lord Narsus was old news now. They didn’t care any more; no one did… not any more.
And why did I write this? I don’t really know… maybe my anime muse is feeling neglected, not that this would have cheered him up.
Anyway, I really should be finishing my longish Matrix fic… I’ve just killed off Smith and he’s not a happy bunny.
Narsus
04:51, 05/04/02