Disclaimer: Not mine, never mine…
Shounen-ai, angst.
More random conversations in the midst of war.
Daryoon peeled off his gauntlets as he entered the tent. It had been a long day, even thought all they had been doing was preparing for yet more battles. Of course, all that they had been doing for a while was preparing for battle. There were Lucitanians swarming all over the countryside, not to mention the troops of the mysterious Silver Mask. Yet all they could do was wait, at least for the moment, which was why Daryoon was so weary. The constant anticipation of danger, the drawn-out wait was grating on his nerves and consequently he wasn’t in the best of moods. Mental exhaustion was something he could really do without.
Last week he’d tried to alleviate the increasing boredom by daring to sneak into Narsus’ tent one night with every intention of ravishing the strategist…
It had seemed like a good idea at the time…
Unfortunately Daryoon had snuck into the tent only to find Narsus already fast asleep with a map over his face.
Eventually, during the time that Daryoon had spent wondering if he should just leave, Narsus had woken up though not for long and Daryoon had spent the rest of the night acting as Narsus’ pillow.
Not bothering to light the lamp inside his tent, Daryoon began to remove his amour; still managing to carefully set each piece aside in its designated place without the aid of light.
Sometimes imposing a particular order on his life was about the only thing that would suspend the growing lethargy. If only the Lucitantians would just attack and have done with it, then at least he could do something, anything, instead of just sitting around and waiting. Inactivity was possibly one of the worst things that could be inflicted on an army, Daryoon thought. Idleness blunted the sharp senses required for battle.
“I wish they’d just get on with it.” Daryoon muttered. “And then we can get this war over with.” He continued a little louder, finding it somewhat helpful to voice his annoyance. “And I can go back to Ekubatana with Narsus and his worthless art.”
Something struck him, in the darkness. Daryoon let out a cry of surprise. The first something was followed by something else. It felt distinctly like a boot. Daryoon reacted after the initial shock by reaching over towards the direction of the bed, which appeared to be where the projectiles were coming from and managing to catch hold of a wrist. He was about to execute a rather painful manoeuvre, for the recipient anyway, when I familiar voice cut him off.
“I bite.”
“Don’t you dare.” Daryoon warned still holding on to Narsus’ wrist.
There came a faint growl from the bed.
“Narsus, did you just throw your boots at me?”
A pointed silence.
“Why?”
Mumble, mumble.
“And in a dialect I can understand.”
“My art isn’t worthless.” Narsus muttered.
Daryoon sighed, “We’re not back to this again, are we?” He moved to sit down on the bed.
“It’s not worthless.” The muttering was even quieter.
“Narsus…” Daryoon began, halted by the sound of a tearful sniff beside him.
“I am not crying.” Narsus said abruptly, pre-empting Daryoon’s next question.
They sat in the darkness neither saying a word, the silence only being disturbed by the odd sniff that Narsus tried to stifle.
“Look, you’ve never cared about my opinion of your art before.”
“No.” said so quietly that Daryoon had to strain to hear.
“You always call me a barbarian, remember? You’re always telling me that I know nothing about art.”
“I know.”
“So it doesn’t matter what I think, does it?”
Another sniff was the answer.
Gently Daryoon put his arms round Narsus, pulling him close and wondering what the hell was actually wrong.
“Sometimes I just wish that… that… you’d actually…” Narsus stopped, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks.
“Please, tell me what’s wrong… and don’t tell me that if I can’t figure it out myself then it doesn’t matter.”
There was a shaky laugh.
“What’s wrong?”
“I… I guess I’m just being silly. It’s nothing… really.”
“It’s not nothing for you to end up like this.”
“I’m sure that not grammatically correct.”
“Narsus…” a sterner tone.
“Honestly, it doesn’t matter…”
Another sigh from the warrior “What ever it is I’ll deal with it, now please tell me what the matter is so that I can go out there and put and end to it, preferably with a sword.”
Narsus didn’t reply.
“I love you, you know? I’d wage war against Heaven itself if you asked me to, I’d… I’d… I swear there’s no limit to what I would do if you asked.”
“What about the Ten Judges of Hell?”
“What?”
“You just said you’d wage war against Heaven but what about them?” Now more than a hint of teasing in the strategist’s voice.
“That might be a bit more difficult.”
Somehow in the darkness Narsus’ mood had shifted.
“I love you.” Daryoon said again, to reinforce the point.
“I know. It’s just that sometimes I…”
“Need to hear me say it?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For being so insecure. It’s the last thing you need to be dealing with at the moment.”
Narsus might have continued but Daryoon hushed him, holding him tightly, chasing away all fears with his surprising gentleness.
Just before he fell asleep Daryoon briefly remembered his earlier concern about inactivity damaging the troops. It seemed that there were not the only ones to suffer. The enforced lull in activity left them all with time to think, time to build up their insecurities. Though Daryoon wouldn’t voice them, his own fears hung in his unspoken thoughts. The fear that one day his comfort wouldn’t be enough, that one day he would fail Narsus and with thoughtless words and actions cause even more damage.
“I know this isn’t the only reason. You weep for other things too, some that you’ll never tell me.” But he didn’t say it out loud.
In the morning Daryoon watched as Narsus woke.
“How are you this morning?” He asked carefully.
“Hmm… sleepy.”
“Better though?”
“For the moment…” Narsus appeared to be going back to sleep, not giving much thought to what he was saying.
“For the moment then.” Daryoon said softly.
“Daryoon…”
“Yes?”
“You really have no sense of artistic style.”
“Thank you.” The warrior replied dryly.
“But I love you anyway.” And Narsus was asleep again.
Daryoon watched him; soon enough they would have another day of waiting ahead of them.
I meant to write something funny but it just didn’t develop that way. I don’t know if the “Wish” CD I’m listening to had anything to do with it, though one of the tracks “Love like ours” has a beautiful, almost melancholy tone to it.
The Ten Judges of Hell are apparently something from mythology and get mentioned in the anime “Judge”. I just figured they were a nice alternative to the Celestial Palaces of Heaven.
22:45, 15/09/02