By Narsus (Narsus@ApexMail.com)
Disclaimers: Don’t own the characters, locations etc… don’t even own a car.
A little piece of irrelevant comedy.
Shounen-ai, implied yaoi.
WARNING: Not the usual pairings (one straight, one not)
I was inspired, firstly by shear perversity and secondly by a random though triggered by a certain lady named Amanda.
Dedicated to the alternative Pharangase and Daryoon… you know who you are.
It was late evening, already dark outside compared to the well-lit corridors of the fortress. Inside there was noise and heat, a sharp contrast to the now dark gardens that Arslan longed to escape to. Unfortunately, being the Crown Prince, if he wanted to go outside he was expected to take a guard with him, an entourage and many torches, which would defeat the point of being outside in the silence of the cool night air. Thus Arslan contented himself with hanging over one of the empty balconies facing the inner garden. The night air was stirred only slight by a breeze, letting the little sounds of the insects carry clearly to him.
Rustle, rustle.
There it was again. That sound completely unfitting for the night. Arslan frowned and peered into the darkness. He could just about make out the shapes of the trees and bushes.
Rustle, rustle.
One of the bushes moved. Arslan opened his mouth to call out, then his mouth just hung open in surprise. Lady Pharangase almost fell out of the bush followed by Narsus! Arslan watched them straighten out their clothes for a moment before turning away from the balcony, both a little embarrassed and amused at what he had seen.
That morning Arslan met with his advisors once more. Through certain contacts they had discovered more of the Lucitanian battle plans. The meeting was over quickly and as they breakfasted together after Arslan found himself watching Narsus and Pharangase for any subtle interplay between the two. Nothing, absolutely nothing. In fact, Arslan began to wonder if they were ignoring eachother to purposely mislead everyone else. Narsus shifted in his seat, seeming to be about to speak, then he winced.
“Rough night?” Gieve inquired, breaking the silence in his usual irreverent fashion.
Much to Arslan’s surprise Daryoon smirked. Narsus’ only answer was to glare at Daryoon. Breakfast continued in silence.
Gieve looked like he might say something else, then Pharangase who had appeared to be ignoring the matter, suddenly spoke “Minstrel, some of us do not care to have the conversation dragged into the gutter.”
“Conversation? I made a polite inquiry that’s all.” He responded.
“In that case I can assure you that our strategist is perfectly fine.” This from Daryoon.
Narsus looked at him and sighed.
More silence.
Narsus was on his fourth glass of wine, reaching to refill his glass when Daryoon stopped him. For a moment Narsus stared at the larger hand laid over his, then quickly twisted his wrist out of Daryoon’s grip and pinched him. Daryoon yelped. Narsus stood up and excusing himself left the room. Daryoon stared after him then rose, “Highness, if you will excuse me… I believe I have some apologising to do.”
Alfreedo looked confused as Daryoon left, “You know, sometimes they argue just like a couple.” She said with a laugh.
Everyone else looked nervous. At the silence Alfreedo looked around, worried “Oh, I didn’t mean…”
She got a sickly smile from Gieve.
“But, they’re not… Narsus isn’t…”
Elam nodded sagely, looking a lot like the aforementioned stagiest.
“Well, it’s less competition for me!” Gieve put in with a wink at Pharangase. He therefore wasn’t prepared for the slice of fruit that hit him with all the accuracy of Zot clan training.
Alfreedo slowly walked down the corridor towards Narsus’ rooms. She was unusually silent considering the revelations of the morning but Alfreedo like any other woman was prepared to be pragmatic… that is, as soon as she was sure of the truth of the matter. Reaching her destination it sounded like Daryoon and Narsus were arguing inside. After a quick glance around to make sure the corridor was deserted the Zot girl leaned casually against the wall near the door to listen.
“Absolutely not, there is no way I’m…” Narsus could be heard yelling.
“But why?” Daryoon pleading.
There was the sound of something rustling and Alfreedo strained to hear.
“NO!”
“It’s only for one night.”
“Not now, not ever!”
“Please, I’ll owe you any favour.”
Another silence and more rustling that Alfreedo could almost distinguish as silk against the marble floor.
“Please Narsus, just this once and then that’s it.”
“What do you mean?”
“No more lying or sneaking around. I’ll come clean, I’ll tell the Prince even.”
“No more lying or sneaking around?”
“Ever. I promise.”
“Just this once?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know.”
Alfreedo leaned forwards towards the doors, lightly balanced on one foot so that she could leap away at the moment’s notice.
“I don’t know.” Narsus repeated.
“It looks nice.” Daryoon volunteered.
“Really? I like it makes me look fat.”
“Oh no! It’s really a very flattering colour.”
There was more rustling of silk. Alfreedo’s mind boggled, what was going on?
“It’ll need to be adjusted, of course.”
“Of course.” Daryoon agreed with a trace of amusement in his voice.
“But then I’ve never found a ball gown that didn’t.”
Alfreedo’s jaw dropped only seconds before the rest of her hit the flood with a thud. Then she was up on her feet and running down the corridor as fast as her legs could carry her.
Inside the room Narsus smiled “Well, I think that’s taken care of.” Daryoon shook his head, feeling a little sorry for the Zot girl.
Arslan was hanging over the balcony again. It was the same one that he’d haunted every evening since seeing Pharangase and Narsus fall out of that bush. The Prince told himself it was just to get away from the heat and noise but secretly he knew he was still trying to catch out the erstwhile couple. Arslan was about to give up and go back inside when he saw Pharangase heading out to the gardens, a flash of a elegant gown worn for this banquet and her black hair. She disappeared behind some bushes for long moments. Arslan caught a glimpse of Daryoon stepping outside and wondered if he should try to distract his General so that Pharangase would go unnoticed but he didn’t have time to make that decision as Narsus emerged from the same bushes that Pharangase had entered. Arslan watched in wonderment as Narsus walking across to Daryoon and was immediately in the General’s arms. Surely Pharangase could see everything that was happening from her vantage point? Daryoon and Narsus disappeared back inside. There was a sigh from beside him and Arslan noticed that he’d been joined by Alfreedo. “That’s so sweet.” She said indicated the direction that Daryoon and Narsus had taken. Aparently Alfreedo had resigned herself to the fact that Narsus loved someone else. Arslan wondered vaguely if Alfreedo would still think it sweet if she knew that Narsus was somehow managing to balance both Daryoon and Pharangase. Just then Alfreedo tapped him on the arm and Arslan followed her gaze to see Pharangase leaving the garden with Qubard who had an arm round her. The though that Narsus was cheating on both Daryoon and Pharangase had been shocking enough but to think that Pharangase was also involved with someone else! Perhaps it was some sort of mutual arrangement? Arslan was really beginning to wonder about some of his advisors.
The next morning Arslan woke to hear the servants discussing the latest piece of gossip. Apparently Narsus had been seen leaving Pharangase’s chambers earlier this morning, Arslan ran his fingers through his hair deciding that next time he was going to stick with Gieve, since at least the minstrel openly admitted to chasing women!
At breakfast Arslan made a point of not looking at anyone, trying to figure out what was going on. Apparently Daryoon and Narsus were ‘more than friends’ though Narsus was also involved with Pharangase, who was also involved with Qubard. A nervous laugh escaped the Prince’s lips, at least Daryoon and Qubard weren’t ‘more than friends’ too… at least he hoped so.
“Is something wrong, your highness?” Daryoon sounded so concerned as usual.
“I’m fine.” Arslan replied.
Daryoon and Narsus exchanged looks.
“Perhaps you should rest, Highness.” Pharangase suggested.
Arslan put a hand to his head briefly. “Really, I’m fine. Things have just been so strange lately.” He received more odd looks.
Finally Daryoon shifted uncomfortably.
“What is it Daryoon?” Arslan said though the litany running through his head went more to the effect of “I’m fine, nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, nothing’s wrong.” Maybe if he though it enough then he’d start to believe it.
“Highness…” Daryoon cleared his throat and tried again. “Highness, I have something to tell you.”
Arslan followed Daryoon’s gaze to Pharangase.
“That is, it concerns Pharangase as well…”
The priestess gifted the General with a small smile of encouragement. Daryoon glanced at Narsus.
“It’ll keep.” The strategist said obviously referring to something he also had to tell. Arslan fought the urge to put his hands over his ears and yell “I can’t hear you.” As loudly as possible. Daryoon turned back to Arslan to continue.
“Don’t tell me!” the Prince said, surprising himself.
“Highness?” Daryoon looked shocked.
“I don’t want to know.” Arslan said rising gracefully to his feet and turning to leave the room.
“Your Highness?” Narsus called after him.
“I’m going back to bed and when I wake up… when I wake up everything will be alright.”
Back in him rooms, Arslan lay down in bed again. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut he tried to convince himself that everything was normal, just like it had been before. When he woke up he’d find it was just a very strange dream, that Misra’s priestess wasn’t going to announce the impending birth of a child fathered by one of two men, that his strategist didn’t sleep with just about anything that moved and that his General wasn’t going to offer to marry the aforementioned priestess to save her honour when his lover might well be the child’s father!
Later in the day the servants that entered the room would be more that a little surprised to hear the Crown Prince of Pulsar muttering “I’m fine, nothing’s wrong.” in his sleep.
After breakfast and the Prince’s quick exit Daryoon stared out of a window wondering what on earth was wrong with Arslan. Pharangase was studying a map with Narsus in the background. Daryoon turned from the window to regard the lady whom he hoped one day would consent to be his wife and his best friend. Narsus looked up at him “Stop worrying. The Prince is probably just tired.”
Daryoon nodded and moved to sit down. Pharangase sat next to him and, in one of those little intimate gestures that Daryoon so treasured, leaned in to press a quick kiss to his lips. Daryoon caught a glimpse of Narsus just about to leave. The strategist grinned obscenely at him and mouthed “Do the thing that I told you about with the ice.” before exiting. Daryoon choked. Pharangase looked at him “Let me guess, Narsus just imparted his latest bit of advice for our relationship?”
Daryoon nodded. “We still have to get around to telling the Prince.”
“It’ll finally get rid of Gieve too and I won’t have to keep changing clothes every time I want to see you.”
“Oh… I kind of got used to the brunette wig.”
Pharangase laughed “Are you sure there was never anything going on between you two?”
“Never. It just started out with me having to rescue Narsus from one or two annoying sorts who wouldn’t leave him alone then people suddenly assumed that it was more than that…”
“You played up to it.”
Daryoon grinned, shrugged and continued “…and then when we started seeing eachother it was safer if no one knew…”
“Sounds like something a strategist would come up with.”
“I’m only an amateur at this. Narsus was the one who suggested that you swap clothing!”
Narsus entered the still darkened bedchamber. Perching on the bed he proceeded to prod the lump enfolded in the covers. The lump moved slightly then settled back down. Narsus shifted further onto the bed then suddenly an arm snaked out and pulled him beneath the covers. He struggled to drag himself back out of the bed but to no avail. The lump had other ideas. A few more moments of struggling and several items of clothing were hurled to the floor, the removal of each article followed by a string of curses from Narsus.
“No! We can’t just…”
“Give that back!”
“My pants!”
“What the…”
“QUBARD!”
Well, I did say this wasn’t the usual pairings. Hope it raised a smile.
- Narsus (4/5/01)